There was a time when I felt I couldn’t breathe.
I felt overworked, tired, and annoyed that I wasn’t getting anything done. It was mid-summer, I was working at a restaurant in a beach town (where drinking and staying out late / relax culture) is prevalent. By prevalent, I mean it’s EVERY NIGHT of summer, spent chilling out on the beach and at bars.
No problem with that. No judgments whatsoever.
Until I realized… it didn’t align with my values.
I realized that I felt a mix of emotions.
Feelings regarding:
a loss of time
feeling ‘rushed’ constantly
being overworked (shifts spent at the restaurant walking around, carrying trays, and staying up late)
misdirection
lack of creating
surrounded by the wrong people
lack of healthy lifestyle
Looking back on my summer, it’s evident that I was tired not only from the long shifts but also not having enough time.
Except, I now realize, I did, have time. I had so much time, in fact, that I chose to spend it elsewhere.
At work, which I can then argue that i had to..
There you are again. That little voice telling me what I ought to do.
Have that drink Halie. Relax. Take the edge off, you work too hard.
Which, I do somewhat agree with this. Sometimes, I chose the after-shift drink instead of opting for sleep. I chose to lounge at the beach instead of picking up my paint brush. Letting beach life culture instill itself in me.
What I lacked then, in the summer, was an overall stillness. A development of spiritual practices that would aid in doing the things that gave me pleasure.
I realized being ‘tired’ was a result of not doing the things that made me feel most alive.
painting / drawing / writing / reading / meditation / QUALITY TIME spent with loved ones and friends (key word: QUALITY)
I learned that what I value is important and anything that doesn’t align, must be dismissed.
For the sake of YOU.
Your well-being.
This much we deserve.
Quality requires attention.
💕
One of my newer works, “be still,” was inspired by Oprah’s book, “What I Know For Sure.” I talk about the inspiration in the video as well as my daily spiritual practices that help quiet my mind.
Hope you enjoy! :)