Manifesting… yea sounds like a very woo woo word.
It does.
But it works.
Once upon a time…
2 years ago, I was unhappy in a job that I wasn’t passionate about… in a city that I didn’t want to live in.
With angst on one of my lunch breaks, in an artsy, little coffee shop, I would write angrily in my journal about the life I didn’t want.
(oh yes, cue the dramatic sound effects)
Yes, you read that right. The life I didn’t want.
It didn’t start to change until my energy was directed at what I did want.
So I wrote it down.
In detail.
And it went something like this…
I want to live by the ocean.
Drink coffee on my balcony.
Go on a morning run and paint most of the day.
Eat a mango for breakfast.
Live on my own.
Focus on the simple things.
It was a highly detailed (even though this doesn’t sounds like it :D)… yet simple journal entry that took me around a half hour to complete. It was so freeing and allowed me to detach from my current reality.
2 years later… this is my reality.
Sitting in my apartment that now has my own studio space AND is 50 steps from the ocean.
Which isn’t to say it was all sunshine and happy rainbows.
It was not.
Sure it was work. Tough work in fact.
It was not a one-and-done type of situation.
There were lots of emotions, nights spent going out, having a drink and having fun… getting caught up in the freedom of it all.
I lived in a small studio apartment for a year and a half that fit my basic essentials where there was just enough space to paint.
There were also nights spent sweating and busting my butt to serve tables in a restaurant.
Dealing with angry customers, forming relationships with those I never thought that I would.
It humbled me.
I was a whole vibe… wearing the “I can do whatever I want, I am making money and I’m living on my own,” persona and mentality.
old apt.
new apt.
2 years ago, I quit my graphic design job to make ends meet while also pursuing my art. (I graduated with graphic design degree)
Diving headfirst into it blindly.
Maneuvering in and out of relationships that served or didn’t serve my best interests.
That benefitted or drained me.
Either or.
Life happened. I lived and learned.
But, it was what happened here by the ocean that got me back on track and led me to my spirituality.
You get past the distractions when you stray from your own path.
You feel it in your gut.
When you’re in alignment with those who understand and surround yourself with community… you see growth. :) (s/o to my art coach @katerinaspopova for that one)
It taught me to not care what others think of your path.
To grab onto it and run.
Let it overtake you even when it scares the sh*t out of you.
Manifesting works. Try it. I still am.
And if you doubt it…
(I am currently typing these words and staring at the horizon line of the ocean in the distance from my studio window.)
This blog is not meant to be a brag or boast about where I currently see myself, but more so a “YOU CAN TOO!” and owning your own current reality. For awhile there, I was ashamed because I was not a “full-time” artist.
I was unhappy with where I was in my life and I am still healing from that.
I am learning to expand myself and take responsibility for my artistic growth.
Reframing the “starving artist” mentality and letting go of past judgments from those who no longer serve me.
We all have our wounds.
I hope we can grow together. <3
Write your dreams down.
This sh*t works.
newest self-portrait