I wake up and look out the window.
It is a grey morning and a slight smile appears on my face.
I’ve been like this since I was little, finding comfort in being inside on dreary days.
A day to spend as I wish.

There is something about the way the Earth seems to take a breath.
Fully inhale and exhale, releasing energy that was pent-up inside waiting to be released all at once.

Raindrops trickling down the outside panels of my apartment.
The warm lighting in my studio reflecting off the walls and inviting me to step inside.
In an instant, I am overcome with a deep sense of gratitude and fully take in the space.

messy paint tubes
a self portrait from years ago when I dreamt of living near the sea
a Venus print
shipping supplies
my Dali postcard from Spain
my new painting
books
journals
my camera

I glance at the fuzzy horizon line along the ocean outside the window and run my hand along the edge of my desk, setting down my warm cup.
Glancing at the walls, which are delicately decorated with artists that inspire me and quotes from those I idolize.
My space.
I repeat this to myself as if it was unknown to me before, as if I’m just fully realizing it now and becoming aware of it.
Whatever else is on my mind completely dissipates.

For now, I am present.
As the Earth breathes out rain droplets –
and pours them into the wide, open ocean,
I sit in this space…
And it gently breathes me in and whispers calmly, “welcome.”

What I know for sure, is that everyone needs to read Oprah’s book, “What I Know for Sure.”

I sat before my blank canvas, listening to the sound of Oprah’s voice in the background as I began the audiobook. Candle burning on my table, paints at my side, I felt a peaceful tranquility spread through me. I savor these moments.

I used to just listen to music, but I now find that engaging with a good audiobook or podcast – does wonders for the mind.

I suppose its a form of meditation and allowing creative channels to flow throughout my being. A sense of comfort.

On this cold December evening, I was graced with the melody and warmth of Oprah’s voice and her sheer wisdom altogether. I listened:

“If you peel back the layers of your life, stillness awaits.”

The sound of this quote struck me. I immediately paused what I was doing, stopped the audiobook, and took a note of it in my phone.

THIS – this – I repeated to myself - isn’t it the essence of this painting? The process of finding stillness.

It’s not cut and dry. It’s not something that smacks you all at once like a punch to the throat… well I suppose all of our spiritual awakenings are different.

Quite honestly, I was angry at how the painting was turning out and I was telling myself it looked like crap. The paint wasn’t applying cleanly on the impasto layer.
Okay, maybe let’s just reapply the primer on top of this layer – covering it up.
Still nothing. Didn’t apply smoothly to the layer below and looked even more muddy.
AHA.
The only way to apply it fresh was to scrape it away – to start anew. To deal with the layer itself, remove it, starting again. Thus, the process of meditation in itself.

For me, it’s a constant process, a filtering of ideas and thoughts. Cleaning out the old ones to make room for new. I found myself scraping away the old, loosely applied paint and reapplying a more polished, cleaner version on top (or was I really just revealing what was beneath already?)

In my frustrations of this new painting experiment, I experienced a breakthrough. I felt myself smiling while I scraped the paint away.

The thoughts in my head: “This is LITERALLY the point. It is the concept of inner work - expressed in a painting. I didn’t even see it like this until now and connected it to Oprah’s quote.”

Thus, keep painting, keep doing what you’re doing. For, it will soon become more clear. The layers below will shine through more clearly when you scrape away the unneeded things on top.

The power is you.

This I know for sure.

Also, I would definitely recommend Oprah’s book:

Here are some quotes that I took away from it:

“We all share the same heart space. We just fill it with different things.”
“What you focus on, expands.”
“The light from your life comes in one conscious breath at a time.”
“Be in the world, not of it.”
“Alignment = Enlightenment “
“We lose sight of being, when we’re all too busy doing.”